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Consumer Guide (5)

It's been so long--almost three months--that I'm not even sure I'vegot the right number up there. This is Consumer Guide 5, right?Right.

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I have lost my sense of continuity. I wonder who's reading. Ifantasize about all the college freshmen who will pick up TheVoice and wonder about this schmuck who's got the audacity to rateart. Art, for Christ's sake. So let me go into the whole thing onceagain. If you're already with me, skim or skip the next paragraph.

This is business, folks, not criticism. You have a limited amount ofmoney to spend on records and a limited quantity of data on which tobase your allotments. The Consumer Guide is more data. In it I rate20 records of my own choosing alphabetically by artist on a scale of Ato E. (Those of you who want to make non-binding but deeplyappreciated suggestions as to what I should rate--or for that matter,how I should rate it--are still welcome). I admit my prejudices--Idislike most rock improvisation, especially white blues, and amsuspicious of even the most innocent pretensions, while I am perhapsunnaturally disposed in favor of soul music and anything that revealsa trace of wit--and also admit the inevitable shortcomings of anyvertical rating system. Nevertheless, I'm the only Consumer Guide yougot, so love me or leave me. In general, I really dig records down toB plus and heartily recommend the rare records to which I grant an A.There are records as low as C minus that may be worth owning if yourtastes are very different from mine. But if you like many Ds and Esyou might as well stop reading Rock & Roll & altogether--wehave nothing in common, intelligence included.

THEO BIKEL: A New Day (Reprise) Sometimes I believeWarner Brothers can do no worng. Well, this is wrong. ProducerRichard Perry has done great things for Ella Fitzgerald and FatsDomino, but Bikel is beyond salvation. If he's a second-rate musicalcomedy star and a fourth-rate folkie, he's a sixth-rate contemporarysinger. And I still call him Theodore. D

THE BLUE VELVET BAND: Sweet Moments With the Blue Velvet Band(Warner Bros.) Nevertheless, Warner Brothers rarely disappoints.This is an excellent bluegrass/country-western/folk record by somecommercial folkies (ex-Kweskin, ex-Tarriers). Produced by ErikJacobsen. Too safe and slick, but beautifully done. B PLUS

CAPTAIN BEEFHEART AND HIS MAGIC BAND: Trout Mask Replica(Straight) I find it impossible to give this record an A becauseit is just too weird. But I'd like to. Very great played at highvolume when you're feeling shitty, because you'll never feel as shittyas this record. B PLUS

THE CHECKMATES, LTD.: Love All We Have to Give (A&M)We never quite knew the word for Phil Spector, but now we do: he wasvulgar. Magnificently, unashamedly vulgar. So I ask myself: whatcould be more vulgar than the 20-minute 'Hair Anthology Suite' thatoccupies one side of this lp? The answer is nothing, but somehow theold verve is lacking. Spector always excelled at singles, not albums,and that's part of the problem. But it's more than that. Except forthe great 'Black Pearl,' this is too ornate rhythmically, and in thisage of super-production the instrumentation doesn't communicate theold outrageousness. Too bad about Phil. I'm gonna miss him alot. C PLUS

JERRY CORBITT: Corbitt (Polydor) The Youngbloods havebeen sounding awfully effete lately, and now we know why. Corbitttook most of their balls when he left. This is fine, tough, andfunny, and only occasionally pretentious or precious. It runsslightly short (29:17) but since the production values areexceptionally tight I won't dock it a notch. B PLUS

THE FIRESIGN THEATRE: How Can You Be in Two Places at Once WhenYou're Not Anywhere at All (Columbia) This is the only comedyrecord (except for Tuli Kupferberg's Pop Poems) that I can imaginemyself buying. Unlike Firesign's puerile first album, this is closeto a work of genius, great high or straight but especially high.Listen to the Nick Danger side first; the title side is so far out itlacks credibility alone. A PLUS

FLAMIN GROOVIES: Supersnazz (Epic) This is some kind ofcross between good-bad rock and roll and 'The Sheik of Araby,' withjust the kind of tongue-in-cheek aesthetic distance for which I havean unnatural weakness. The first three cuts on the first side give arepresentative taste. B PLUS

CAROLYN FRANKLIN: Baby Dynamite! (RCA Victor) Not bad,really, with some good original songs, including one, 'The Boxer,'that might have been a hit if RCA knew anything about pushing soul.In fact, considering that it's on RCA, which hasn't had a hit soulperformer since Sam Cooke, almost a successful record, especially whencompared with . . . C PLUS

ERMA FRANKLIN: Soul Sister (Brunswick) This one, on areputable soul label, with a singer who has already proved herselfwith the original--some would even say definitive--version of 'Pieceof My Heart,' is a depressing failure, with a safe and sane selectionof tunes ('By the Time I Get to Phoenix,' 'For Once in My Life') andtotally unremarkable production. Great title, though. C MINUS

HEDGE & DONNA: All in the Friendly Colours (Capitol)An engaging folk duo record. Includes a beautiful Jackson Browne,'There Came a Question.' B MINUS

JUDY HENSKE & JERRY YESTER: Farewell Aldebaran(Straight) Lyrics by Henske, music by Yester, production by Yesterand Zal Yanovsky. Too ambitious, but Henske has some voice and italmost works anyway. Listen to 'Snowblind.' B PLUS

KING CRIMSON: In the Court of the Crimson King(Atlantic) The plus is because Peter Townshend likes it. This canalso be said of the Crazy World of Arthur Brown. Beware theforthcoming hype--this is ersatz shit. D PLUS

THE MARX BROS.: The Original Voice Tracks From Their GreatestMovies (Decca) This is the sort of record you buy out of dutyand then never play, not because it's a comedy record but because itisn't funny out of context. Salted with annoying music and littlecomments like 'their target was the establishment' or 'he socks it tothe head of a university.' For Marx Bros. freaks only. C PLUS

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THE MASTERS OF DECEIT: Hensley's Electric Jazz Band &Synthetic Symphonette (Vanguard) I started out liking this awhole lot, but it's playing now and I can't understand why. It'sUnipak to boot. The hell with it--C for memories. C MINUS

PACIFIC GAS & ELECTRIC (Columbia) The best whiteblues group--because the singer is black, naturally. The first siderocks like hell and despite some nonsense with drums and '30s jazzarrangements, even the second can be played over and over. A pleasantsurprise. A MINUS

SANTANA (Columbia) Just want to register myunreconstructed opposition to the methedrine school of American music.A lot of noise. C MINUS

BOZ SCAGGS (Atlantic) Duane Allman's guitar offsets thefact that Jann Wenner was associated with the production, and Scaggshimself comes through as a solid, pleasant, soulful white boy. A nicetribute to American music. B PLUS

SHA NA NA: Rock & Roll Is Hear to Stay! (Kama Sutra)I am not an ecstatic fan of Sha Na Na's famous live act--I think it isa mistake to parody Elvis Presley, because he's too good, and thatmistake throws the whole put-on into question--but at least it isspirited and funny. The record is dull. It is as if Enoch Light hadrecorded 14 of your favorite all-time rock and roll hits. Sometimesthese songs were stupid, but they always had life. What can I say?Not only was Sonny James's version of 'Young Love' better than Sha NaNa's--so was Tab Hunter's. E

SMITH: A Group Called Smith (Dunhill) Three Dog Nightwith a girl. Vocals and arrangements not bad, selectionunimaginative. Their version of the Zombies' 'Tell Her No' is theonly thing on the album I might want to hear in a month. (Threemonths later: was I ever right.) C PLUS

TEN YEARS AFTER: Sssh (Deram) I should like this record,by a group I have always admired, more than I do. It has a lot ofnice original fake blues songs and Alvin Lee's usual distinction onvocals and guitar. But in fact I never listen to it. B

Village Voice, Dec. 11, 1969

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Sept. 18, 1969Jan. 15, 1970

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